When we’re listening to someone, there’s often a raft of messaging to make sense of. So which are the parts we really need to act on?
Think of time when someone has described a situation that needs your attention. Potentially, there’s a lot of information that needs processing. This may include:
- Who’s done what
- How people feel
- Consequences and risks
- Judgements on what was right/wrong
- Labelling of people or actions
- Practical needs met or not being met
There can be value in all of these things, yet in terms of developing solutions it’s important to find the practical needs of the situation – these will then point to what actions can be taken.
However, these practical needs can get lost in the noise of the emotions and we can easily pay more attention to what feels like the drama of the situation.
Example:
“The team is kicking up a fuss with all the change that’s going on. Who knows if there will be work next month! It’s chaos and people are off-task worried about what’s in store for them. You should hear what’s being said… it’s getting tense!”
There’s a lot of emotion woven into this statement, however there is also a key practical need which points to a solution – The team needs to know if there’s work next month.
By identifying practical needs amongst the emotions we can start to craft solutions – this doesn’t mean we’re ignoring emotions, it just means we’re looking to find a solution that will help.
Insights & Actions
From a Communication Leadership perspective, when you encounter conflict, listen for the practical needs of the situation. Whilst you may need to acknowledge strong emotions, be mindful to respond to the needs and avoid being drawn in to the noise.
I hope you’ve found this article useful. As always, stay in touch and let me know if you have a question.
Take risks,
David Savage
Photo by Elyas Pasban on Unsplash